gender ministry in the church

It was an interesting weekend at my church. We had dual kickoff events, one for men's ministry, and one for women's ministry. I did not attend the men's event, but I did get to go to the women's dinner, my first ever women's church event. ever.

And it was fine. That's about all I can say about it. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was fine. It was dinner and a speaker, I mingled a bit as any good pastor would, and then we had chocolate. It seemed about what I had thought it would be. Apparently the men's event went well. I have to take that as hearsay.

But today was debrief day. Once every two weeks we get together as an "adult formation team" and plan for how we can foster environments for adult spiritual formation. Anyway, that's just side information. Today, we as a team began a debrief of these events. And basically everyone concluded that they were fine. And now we'll plan for the year.

And that's where my questions started to emerge. Mostly I've been wondering why we do this. Why do we have gender based ministries and what do we hope they contribute in terms of spiritual formation? And then I wonder, why the segregation. At my church we have a class for men called "Biblical Masculinity." My question actually isn't so much about the class as it is why that class is only for men. When did we come to the conclusion that gender based ministry is to teach people how to be men or women in isolation from our created other? No matter how you read Genesis 1-2 and what principles you pull from it, you can't get away from the fact that there were two distinct people created that were meant to be in relationship. So I'm wondering where that relationship went in our gender ministry in the church and how to bring it back. I want men and women to be more than just fine. I want them to be fully the people God created them to be, created us to be actually. And I want ministries in our churches to foster that. But how do we do it?

Any answers out there?

what not to wear, ministry edition

I've never been known as a fashion guru. I spent my first year in seminary stumbling into Greek exegesis at 7:25 a.m., usually wearing jeans or sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I didn't start wearing makeup on a regular basis until probably my third year in seminary (well, at least no one can argue that I went to seminary for my M-R-S degree!). As my friends will attest, as I've made efforts to "dress it up" a bit, I've often wished I could be on the show "What Not to Wear" - you know, the one where the slightly obnoxious but amusing co-hosts pick some poor, unsuspecting fashion disaster and transform him or her into fashion plate... with the help of thousands and thousands of dollars.

What in the world does a fashion-driven TV show have to do with ministry? I asked myself that very question this morning, when I read an article published by Gifted for Leadership dealing with what female ministers should and should not wear. The author writes that when she was in seminary, she was discussing a gifted female classmate with some of her male peers, and one of the men remarked,

"Sally is phenomenal, but when she preaches few men will be thinking about God. If you know what I mean."

The author responded, "So, you saying she’s too pretty to preach?"

WHOA! This is certainly not something we discussed in seminary. In fact, I don't know that I've ever thought about this extra hurdle women may have to overcome when they preach. The author of this article raises a good question: "in a consumer-driven, sexually-charged culture, how should a woman in leadership decide what to wear?"

I've never been someone who blames women for every impure thought that runs through a man's head; nevertheless, this is a question that those of us who are women in leadership should take seriously. I don't have all the answers, but a few preliminary thoughts:

• I don't think that dressing frumpishly is the answer. For some people, this will be as much of a barrier to hearing God's Word as it would be if we dressed like fashion plates!
• Modesty is key. That should be obvious. It's just not that hard to dress modestly and fashionably.
• We need more conversations between those of us who are in ministry and the men and women with whom we serve, as well as with members in the congregation, about this issue.
• Men need to be challenged to work on their own sexual purity, even as women need to be considerate with what we wear.
• Both women and men who are in leadership must take care that the clothes they wear not speak more loudly to the congregation than the Word of the Lord.

I suspect conversations like these will be ongoing as more women enter ministry and are engaged in public preaching. I encourage you to read "What Not to Wear" for yourselves and enter into the conversation with your own thoughts. May we never be dismissed as too pretty to preach or too frumpy to follow!

Image found here.

the shrewd manager

I'll be honest, Jesus parables are hard. I often find them confusing. And this morning was no different. I was actually asked by someone in my congregation about a particular parable and I was a little bit at a loss. That's a bad feeling as a pastor. But I couldn't blame him for asking about it. And while I sort of just wanted to not answer, I found that that wasn't really an option. The parable in question is one of the harder ones in my opinion. It is found in Luke 16:1-9 and is affectionately known as the parable of the shrewd manager.

And while I can't claim to be 100% certain about the full meaning of the parable (like most of Jesus parables) here is what I think Jesus was trying to make clear:

It seems to me that Jesus is contrasting this manager with the rich man found at the end of chapter 16. There the rich man walked by Lazarus every day and took no pity on him, hording his wealth. When they both die it is clear that while the man might have thought himself to be blessed by God because of his wealth, it was really Lazarus who experienced eternal blessing. Abraham tells the man he has received his reward on earth, for he wanted to be rich but had no room in his life for other people or the law of God as is made clear at the end where he is now nervous for his family. Abraham makes clear that those who do not recognize life as revealed through Moses and the prophets will not recognize it even if they see someone coming back from the dead. They have no concept of true life. Had this rich man been shrewd he would have recognized that his blessing on earth was not to be confused with eternal blessing and would have used it rightly to help the beggar he passed by every day and in doing so his heart might have opened to the kingdom life. Instead he got what he wanted, riches in this life, but he missed that that is of little import in eternity.

In a similar way, the shrewd manager opted for life after his job not by taking more from his manager but by giving much away. It is an example, like many of Jesus parables, of the upside down nature of the kingdom where we give in order to receive and lose so we might save. He is not commended for his dishonesty but for his wisdom into the nature of life. If life is found for him in giving and forgiving, how much more is eternal life found in this way. If only "people of the light" had such wisdom to understand the nature of blessing in life and in the kingdom of God.

The Pharisees "who loved money," (vs. 14) were not brought into the family of God by it. The parable teaches that money and other earthly possessions are to be used as needed for life here, but this life will come to an end. It's sort of like Jesus teaching on the rich having a harder time entering the kingdom. If your heart is set that earthly blessing is of great value and equates with eternal blessing you will find that you are mistaken.

Sometimes the pastoral life is a tricky one. I feel like I am still learning what Jesus' teachings mean in my own life, and then people ask me how to help them understand it. Yet we are all called to share what we have. I think this is money as well as time and knowledge. And we are to give it to others not to be found as a wealth of information, but in order that we might have space in our lives for the message of the kingdom to sink down deep. No matter what we give away, it is in giving that we receive. I was blessed to attend seminary and take a few steps down the road of understanding Jesus deep and sometimes confusing teachings. But this blessing was given to me that I might share it with others. That too is the pastoral life, passing on the wisdom that God has given, not just so that others can understand Jesus teachings, not just to dump knowledge from one person to another, but so that we might have open hearts that are ready to accept all that Jesus has for us. It is not primarily through study and reading that I receive from God but in giving what he has given to me to others.

God's 'economy'

In our society right now, it seems like everyone is thinking about ways to save money. In fact, it's almost trendy to be frugal, to try your best to ensure that none of your hard-earned money is wasted but instead is put to good use. Yet even when we're trying our hardest to be frugal, Americans produce tons and tons of waste every year. Just think about how much plastic packaging, tissue paper, random junk, and leftovers from restaurant meals end up in the dumpster every day! Even at our most frugal, we waste a lot.

Sometimes, I think we imagine God as a "waster" just like us. I know I certainly did. When I first came to seminary several years ago, it seemed to me that all of my musical training (almost 20 years worth) had been wasted. I thought God was calling me into an academic, theological vocation, and at the time I saw no place for music in my life or ministry. But I made a dear friend at seminary, and older (and wiser) woman who was also a musician, who kept saying to me, "God wastes nothing! His economy is perfect!" She encouraged me to trust that somehow, someway God would redeem all those years I spent immersed in music and use them for His purposes.

Well, she was right. About a year after that conversation, I began to get involved with the music team at my church - at first just as a singer, soon as a keyboardist as well. Midway through my second seminary year, the woman who had led the music ministry stepped down... and my pastor asked me to consider co-leading the ministry. Now I have co-lead the music ministry at my church for going on three years, and it is one of the best things in my life! I have seen God bring music back into my life in a form that is much different than I ever expected or wanted, but that is much more beautiful and suits me perfectly. God did not waste my musical training or talents as I feared He would.

God sometimes has a sense of humor in the things in our lives He chooses to "recycle." A couple of years ago I took a course at seminary that prepared me to be a facilitator of the Prepare/Enrich Inventory, a tool for premarital or marital counseling. When I took the class, I was completely convinced that I would never, EVER have the opportunity (or even the desire) to use this tool. I wasn't even sure that I wanted to get married, much less work with all that touchy-feely counseling stuff! So I made it through the class, scoffed ever time I saw the binder of course materials sitting in my closet, and eventually threw away that binder in the course of moving to another apartment.

Irony of ironies, a couple from my church recently got engaged... and my pastor decided to have me administer the Prepare/Enrich Inventory to them as a way to get started on their premarital counseling. I suspect that God is as amused as I am.

In God's wisdom, He uses our gifts and our talents, and He prepares us for the tasks He gives to us. I'm not yet convinced that nothing is wasted in God's economy - I suspect that one effect of the Fall is a whole bunch of waste - but He certainly is a better steward of the gifts, talents, and resources He gives us than we could ever be. I suspect that the longer I work in ministry, the more I will be utterly blown away by the beauty of God's economy.

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As a side note, check out this post on "Gifted for Leadership" about some of the dangers inherent in complementarianism run amok. It would be interesting to write a similar post on the dangers of rabid egalitarianism... but that's a project for another day.