Easter and Christmas Christians

It's Christmas and we are preparing for some exciting Christmas happenings. This is my first Christmas as a pastor, and let me tell you, it's no holiday when you are in the Church business. Christmas Eve is one of our biggest services of the year followed closely by Easter. People who don't normally go to church show up two days a year: Christmas and Easter. And to be honest, this is something I have never really understood about the church.

You see, if I were not really a believer in Jesus, if I were only a two Sunday a year kind of church goer, I don't think I would pick to go on Christmas and Easter. I think I would pick a couple of random Sundays during the year when they are talking about loving people or doing good works. I don't think I would pick to go on the days they are talking about virgins having babies or dead people not staying dead.

But the truth of the matter is, these are the biggest days for us because we celebrate a virgin bearing the Son of God, and a man who physically died rising from the dead showing his power over sin and death. These are big days. And I think people know that. Even those who can't quite accept Jesus by faith still recognize that there is something miraculous about these two days and want to be in the place where they too can experience the miracles.

It's a great time of year to be a pastor. Sure, it's a lot of work, but it's worth it because again this year I get to experience the miracle of Emmanuel, God with us.

So I'm preaching today -- T-minus 2 hours and counting.

This will be the first time I have ever preached for a church, preached for anyone outside of an artificial "preaching lab" setting. In some ways, I'm less nervous since I'm not preaching for a grade! Seminarians are often the harshest critics when it comes to sermons...

That being said, I'm still nervous -- especially because I'm supposed to limit the sermon to 15 minutes, tops. Since I hate practicing sermons, I haven't read it out loud, so I actually have no idea how long it will turn out to be... I suspect it's too long. That probably means I will end up talking too fast, as I usually do. :)

However, fundamentally I'm excited! I get to preach! Plus, my family's here to celebrate Thanksgiving with me and the in-laws to be (!), so my family will be in the congregation to hear my very first sermon. I've already decided that my sermon won't be "perfect," and it's certainly not your typical "three points and poem" sermon (since I'm NOT a linear thinking type of person...), but I'm still excited.

The process of writing the sermon has been quite freeing, actually. A lot of the ground work for my sermon was handed to me, because it "just so happens" that the lectionary passages for the day include TWO -- that's right, not just one, but TWO -- passages that I have already studied in depth recently. I taught on the Gospel passage in our Sunday School a few weeks ago, and the Psalm for the day is the exact Psalm on which I preached last Spring for a seminary class. Oh that God... It feels like He's smiling on me in this process.

In fact, this sermon is part and parcel with much of what God is teaching me right now: trust in Him and not in myself. I've had the strangest sense of peace (well, most of the time) as I've prepared for this sermon, and it's not because I've spent billions of hours preparing (I haven't). But for some reason, I have been able to trust God with this sermon. And that's pretty darn cool.

On my own, I'm not capable of this type of trust. So.... thanks be to God for His care for me!

"He must increase; I must decrease"

Ministry has quite a learning curve. We can read books about ministry, talk about ministry, think we know how to "do" ministry, but when we enter into ministry, sometimes the reality is much different than we expected. We learn that what pleases God is often different than what would please us. We learn that God often moves much more slowly than we wish He would (and think He should).

For me, one of the biggest battles in the first months of my ministry has been an internal battle, the battle between "being" a minister and "doing" ministry. I tend to be a "doer," someone who measure my success in terms of what I do: keeping up with emails, taking the initiative to meet with people, going to the prayer services, leading the small group, supporting my fellow staff members, etc., etc.

However, ministry is about more than just doing: ministry is about being. It's easy to "do" out of our own strength and talents, but it is impossible to fully "be" without reliance on the Spirit. And "being" requires taking time to not "do" -- to engage in contemplation rather than action, to rest and spend time with others, and above all, to recognize that GOD is the one who truly "does" His work, not me. If I can't take time to simply be because I am afraid to cease my doing, I have a problem: I'm putting myself in the place of God.

Consider John 3:27-30 (which is a great passage for lectio divina, by the way). In the context of this passage, the disciples of John the Baptist come to him, alarmed at the way the crowds have transferred their attention from John to Jesus. In response, John says:

A person can receive only what is given from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, "I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of him." The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less.

John recognizes that his role is much, much different than that of Jesus. He could have chosen to be jealous of Jesus and to act as Jesus' rival. But John knows that the "bride" -- the people of God -- belongs to the "bridegroom," to Jesus Himself.

The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The Church belongs to Christ. Not to me. I have a responsibility to serve the church, but ultimately I must remember that God is the one who brings about His kingdom. THAT is why I can rest without fear. THAT is why I can choose to "be," rather than "do," humbly accepting my human limitations and trusting that God works even when I do not. My "doing" far too easily becomes a way to try to make myself greater, but in resting, in simply "being," I learn to trust in God's power to accomplish His own purposes, and to listen and discern my place in the midst of His plan rather than assuming that I already know what I ought to do.

He must increase; I must decrease. Simple. Difficult. Essential in ministry. I suspect that as I learn to be a minister of the Lord, I will experience more of the joy John mentions -- the joy of hearing God's voice and seeing Him at work. May it be.

What do you say when words are not enough?

I imagine all of us have been in situations where the answers we've been given to life's tough questions simply aren't sufficient. Sometimes the truths we know, the truths we cling to -- like the fact that God is completely good, and faithful, and loving, the fact that He provides for our every need -- seem ludicrous.

I spent some time yesterday sitting with a couple who are facing a really, really difficult scenario -- the type of scenario that could completely destroy their hopes and plans. When I received the woman's phone call and decided to drop what I was doing and go be with her and her husband, I realized that I would be walking into a situation for which I was ill-prepared -- at least, for which I didn't have answers. Being in ministry, I suspect that this won't be the last time that happens...

So what do you do when you don't have answers? You sit. You listen. You encourage people to talk, you encourage them to be honest with themselves and with God. If needed, you ask hard questions. If not, you just... sit and be present with them. And you pray -- silently and aloud, for them and with them. Sometimes, answers aren't what people need. Sometimes, people just need you to be with them and to have faith FOR them. That's a huge part of ministry, whether formal or informal: believing for one another when we can't manage to believe on our own. Upholding one another when we need it most. Faith is the act of a community, not just an individual.

Last night, the woman faced an overwhelming situation, one that seemed to have the potential to crush her utterly, with honesty about her own lack of faith -- the disparity between what she knows about God (God is good) and what the situation seems to say about God (God is cruel). But even in the midst of her despair, anger, and confusion, she responded in faith: she desperately sought to turn TO God rather than away from him. And that's why she called me -- because she knew she didn't have the strength to turn to God on her own.

We often think that faith has to be unshakeable in order to "count" as faith -- we think that faith means that we ALWAYS have to believe whole-heartedly that God is who He says He is, who we've been taught that He is. But sometimes, a response of faith is simply wanting and trying to turn to God rather than away from Him.

Her response was honest: "I cannot believe."
Her response was faith-filled: "I desperately long to believe!"

And I had the privilege of being the one called to believe for her.

In spite of all the years I’ve spent being a girl, I’m still not very good at it.

This is a great post from the Burnside Writers Collective.

I found this article very true of the way I view the world, and I think its true of my generation broadly. And responding to these women is what women's ministry in the church should look like today. But I agree with Sarah, how am I supposed to lead other women if my own compass hasn't yet found due north?

it breaks my heart

I am a chronic over-empathizer. For example, sometimes I feel sadness because of someone else's pain more intensely than for myself! In ministry, this can be exhausting! I'm not called to bear someone else's emotional burden -- that's not what it means to "carry each other's burdens."

Anyway, that being said, recent conversations with several young women about the pain they have experienced because they are women seeking to be in ministry have (a) made me incredibly sad, and (b) made me incredibly angry.

One woman sought to use her musical and teaching gifts in the church she had been attending. She was told, "Well, you can babysit the children on Sunday mornings." What a waste! Not that children don't need good teaching and good music too, but to assume that this woman is called to minister to children just because there is nowhere else she is "eligible" to serve runs contrary to God's purposes in equipping each of us with gifts for ministry.

Another woman had an extremely negative experience within the first couple of months of attending seminary. A professor spent an entire class period ranting about the issue of women in ministry, setting up straw-man arguments to show how Evil Feminism had attacked the "gospel truth" of complementarianism. (Note: I was not in this particular class, so this is second-hand information. However, I had this professor for a similar class and am familiar with the way he handles the issue). This professor may not have intended it, but he effectively undermined this young woman's confidence in her own calling before the Lord. Plus, he modeled a particular method of engaging with theological debates that is neither objective nor, in my opinion, Christ-like -- and he did this in a class filled with young men (and several women) who are preparing to be pastors!

The pain from these type of experiences runs deep, and talking with these young women absolutely breaks my heart. It astounds me that people such as the men in leadership at the first young woman's church and the professor in my second story just plain don't see that the implications of their attitudes undermine the ministry of the church.

I'm still working through how to articulate what I sense and what I see about how these type of attitudes can infect the church. It's a very subtle infection, because those in leadership view their attitudes as being Biblical Truth -- so anyone who disagrees is seen as attacking Scripture rather than challenging a particular interpretation. For now, all I can do is think, and lament, and encourage young women like the two I mentioned, and give thanks that God has placed me in a church that values my gifts and my calling to ministry, and do my best to serve God with confidence in Him, and pray for God to continue to establish His kingdom in His church.

it's time for another "good idea, bad idea"

In ministry, context can often make the difference between a good idea and a bad idea. For example:

Good idea: making sermons available as podcasts on the internet.
Bad idea: making sermons available as podcasts when no one in the congregation has internet access.

Good idea: opening up "Prayers of the People" so that people in the congregation can voice prayers aloud during the service.
Bad idea: opening up "Prayers of the People" during election season to a congregation that strongly disagrees about political issues (can you say "prayer wars"?).

Good idea: implementing healthy change in a congregation.
Bad idea: pushing for change in a congregation that really just needs some stability.

I'm sure all of us in ministry can come up with our own list of example along these lines. But here's what got me thinking about the affect of context on the validity of our ideas:

Good idea: giving female seminary students a forum in which to practice their preaching.

Let me pause here. I am all for encouraging women in their preaching, and as a recent seminary grad I know that it can be more difficult for female students to find opportunities to preach in the church. However, I do NOT believe that women can/should only preach to other women, as some of my colleagues believe.

So here's the question: does forming a women's preaching club (women preaching to women) on a seminary campus represent a good idea or a bad idea? Some contextual factors:

• The seminary campus in question had been moving forward in affirming women in ministry in recent years.
• The student body has recently shown signs of becoming more restrictive in its views on women in ministry.
• The seminary does not currently hold a formal position on women in ministry, which to me represents one of its strengths.
• Preaching labs at this institution are currently coed.
• Those at the seminary who are more egalitarian are very concerned about this proposed club.
• Those at the seminary who lean complementarian are very excited about the club.

In ministry, it's all about the context. In another context, most likely no one would be concerned about forming a "women's preaching club." But in the context I examined above, forming such a club makes a particular statement, regardless of whether or not the club's founders intended to make that statement.

So... women's preaching club in a place fighting to remain open to women in ministry: good idea or bad idea? The jury is out.

gender ministry in the church

It was an interesting weekend at my church. We had dual kickoff events, one for men's ministry, and one for women's ministry. I did not attend the men's event, but I did get to go to the women's dinner, my first ever women's church event. ever.

And it was fine. That's about all I can say about it. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was fine. It was dinner and a speaker, I mingled a bit as any good pastor would, and then we had chocolate. It seemed about what I had thought it would be. Apparently the men's event went well. I have to take that as hearsay.

But today was debrief day. Once every two weeks we get together as an "adult formation team" and plan for how we can foster environments for adult spiritual formation. Anyway, that's just side information. Today, we as a team began a debrief of these events. And basically everyone concluded that they were fine. And now we'll plan for the year.

And that's where my questions started to emerge. Mostly I've been wondering why we do this. Why do we have gender based ministries and what do we hope they contribute in terms of spiritual formation? And then I wonder, why the segregation. At my church we have a class for men called "Biblical Masculinity." My question actually isn't so much about the class as it is why that class is only for men. When did we come to the conclusion that gender based ministry is to teach people how to be men or women in isolation from our created other? No matter how you read Genesis 1-2 and what principles you pull from it, you can't get away from the fact that there were two distinct people created that were meant to be in relationship. So I'm wondering where that relationship went in our gender ministry in the church and how to bring it back. I want men and women to be more than just fine. I want them to be fully the people God created them to be, created us to be actually. And I want ministries in our churches to foster that. But how do we do it?

Any answers out there?

what not to wear, ministry edition

I've never been known as a fashion guru. I spent my first year in seminary stumbling into Greek exegesis at 7:25 a.m., usually wearing jeans or sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I didn't start wearing makeup on a regular basis until probably my third year in seminary (well, at least no one can argue that I went to seminary for my M-R-S degree!). As my friends will attest, as I've made efforts to "dress it up" a bit, I've often wished I could be on the show "What Not to Wear" - you know, the one where the slightly obnoxious but amusing co-hosts pick some poor, unsuspecting fashion disaster and transform him or her into fashion plate... with the help of thousands and thousands of dollars.

What in the world does a fashion-driven TV show have to do with ministry? I asked myself that very question this morning, when I read an article published by Gifted for Leadership dealing with what female ministers should and should not wear. The author writes that when she was in seminary, she was discussing a gifted female classmate with some of her male peers, and one of the men remarked,

"Sally is phenomenal, but when she preaches few men will be thinking about God. If you know what I mean."

The author responded, "So, you saying she’s too pretty to preach?"

WHOA! This is certainly not something we discussed in seminary. In fact, I don't know that I've ever thought about this extra hurdle women may have to overcome when they preach. The author of this article raises a good question: "in a consumer-driven, sexually-charged culture, how should a woman in leadership decide what to wear?"

I've never been someone who blames women for every impure thought that runs through a man's head; nevertheless, this is a question that those of us who are women in leadership should take seriously. I don't have all the answers, but a few preliminary thoughts:

• I don't think that dressing frumpishly is the answer. For some people, this will be as much of a barrier to hearing God's Word as it would be if we dressed like fashion plates!
• Modesty is key. That should be obvious. It's just not that hard to dress modestly and fashionably.
• We need more conversations between those of us who are in ministry and the men and women with whom we serve, as well as with members in the congregation, about this issue.
• Men need to be challenged to work on their own sexual purity, even as women need to be considerate with what we wear.
• Both women and men who are in leadership must take care that the clothes they wear not speak more loudly to the congregation than the Word of the Lord.

I suspect conversations like these will be ongoing as more women enter ministry and are engaged in public preaching. I encourage you to read "What Not to Wear" for yourselves and enter into the conversation with your own thoughts. May we never be dismissed as too pretty to preach or too frumpy to follow!

Image found here.

the shrewd manager

I'll be honest, Jesus parables are hard. I often find them confusing. And this morning was no different. I was actually asked by someone in my congregation about a particular parable and I was a little bit at a loss. That's a bad feeling as a pastor. But I couldn't blame him for asking about it. And while I sort of just wanted to not answer, I found that that wasn't really an option. The parable in question is one of the harder ones in my opinion. It is found in Luke 16:1-9 and is affectionately known as the parable of the shrewd manager.

And while I can't claim to be 100% certain about the full meaning of the parable (like most of Jesus parables) here is what I think Jesus was trying to make clear:

It seems to me that Jesus is contrasting this manager with the rich man found at the end of chapter 16. There the rich man walked by Lazarus every day and took no pity on him, hording his wealth. When they both die it is clear that while the man might have thought himself to be blessed by God because of his wealth, it was really Lazarus who experienced eternal blessing. Abraham tells the man he has received his reward on earth, for he wanted to be rich but had no room in his life for other people or the law of God as is made clear at the end where he is now nervous for his family. Abraham makes clear that those who do not recognize life as revealed through Moses and the prophets will not recognize it even if they see someone coming back from the dead. They have no concept of true life. Had this rich man been shrewd he would have recognized that his blessing on earth was not to be confused with eternal blessing and would have used it rightly to help the beggar he passed by every day and in doing so his heart might have opened to the kingdom life. Instead he got what he wanted, riches in this life, but he missed that that is of little import in eternity.

In a similar way, the shrewd manager opted for life after his job not by taking more from his manager but by giving much away. It is an example, like many of Jesus parables, of the upside down nature of the kingdom where we give in order to receive and lose so we might save. He is not commended for his dishonesty but for his wisdom into the nature of life. If life is found for him in giving and forgiving, how much more is eternal life found in this way. If only "people of the light" had such wisdom to understand the nature of blessing in life and in the kingdom of God.

The Pharisees "who loved money," (vs. 14) were not brought into the family of God by it. The parable teaches that money and other earthly possessions are to be used as needed for life here, but this life will come to an end. It's sort of like Jesus teaching on the rich having a harder time entering the kingdom. If your heart is set that earthly blessing is of great value and equates with eternal blessing you will find that you are mistaken.

Sometimes the pastoral life is a tricky one. I feel like I am still learning what Jesus' teachings mean in my own life, and then people ask me how to help them understand it. Yet we are all called to share what we have. I think this is money as well as time and knowledge. And we are to give it to others not to be found as a wealth of information, but in order that we might have space in our lives for the message of the kingdom to sink down deep. No matter what we give away, it is in giving that we receive. I was blessed to attend seminary and take a few steps down the road of understanding Jesus deep and sometimes confusing teachings. But this blessing was given to me that I might share it with others. That too is the pastoral life, passing on the wisdom that God has given, not just so that others can understand Jesus teachings, not just to dump knowledge from one person to another, but so that we might have open hearts that are ready to accept all that Jesus has for us. It is not primarily through study and reading that I receive from God but in giving what he has given to me to others.

God's 'economy'

In our society right now, it seems like everyone is thinking about ways to save money. In fact, it's almost trendy to be frugal, to try your best to ensure that none of your hard-earned money is wasted but instead is put to good use. Yet even when we're trying our hardest to be frugal, Americans produce tons and tons of waste every year. Just think about how much plastic packaging, tissue paper, random junk, and leftovers from restaurant meals end up in the dumpster every day! Even at our most frugal, we waste a lot.

Sometimes, I think we imagine God as a "waster" just like us. I know I certainly did. When I first came to seminary several years ago, it seemed to me that all of my musical training (almost 20 years worth) had been wasted. I thought God was calling me into an academic, theological vocation, and at the time I saw no place for music in my life or ministry. But I made a dear friend at seminary, and older (and wiser) woman who was also a musician, who kept saying to me, "God wastes nothing! His economy is perfect!" She encouraged me to trust that somehow, someway God would redeem all those years I spent immersed in music and use them for His purposes.

Well, she was right. About a year after that conversation, I began to get involved with the music team at my church - at first just as a singer, soon as a keyboardist as well. Midway through my second seminary year, the woman who had led the music ministry stepped down... and my pastor asked me to consider co-leading the ministry. Now I have co-lead the music ministry at my church for going on three years, and it is one of the best things in my life! I have seen God bring music back into my life in a form that is much different than I ever expected or wanted, but that is much more beautiful and suits me perfectly. God did not waste my musical training or talents as I feared He would.

God sometimes has a sense of humor in the things in our lives He chooses to "recycle." A couple of years ago I took a course at seminary that prepared me to be a facilitator of the Prepare/Enrich Inventory, a tool for premarital or marital counseling. When I took the class, I was completely convinced that I would never, EVER have the opportunity (or even the desire) to use this tool. I wasn't even sure that I wanted to get married, much less work with all that touchy-feely counseling stuff! So I made it through the class, scoffed ever time I saw the binder of course materials sitting in my closet, and eventually threw away that binder in the course of moving to another apartment.

Irony of ironies, a couple from my church recently got engaged... and my pastor decided to have me administer the Prepare/Enrich Inventory to them as a way to get started on their premarital counseling. I suspect that God is as amused as I am.

In God's wisdom, He uses our gifts and our talents, and He prepares us for the tasks He gives to us. I'm not yet convinced that nothing is wasted in God's economy - I suspect that one effect of the Fall is a whole bunch of waste - but He certainly is a better steward of the gifts, talents, and resources He gives us than we could ever be. I suspect that the longer I work in ministry, the more I will be utterly blown away by the beauty of God's economy.

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As a side note, check out this post on "Gifted for Leadership" about some of the dangers inherent in complementarianism run amok. It would be interesting to write a similar post on the dangers of rabid egalitarianism... but that's a project for another day.

women who give us all a bad rap

I think this blog speaks for itself.

I've just finished an intriguing book by a wonderful author, Dorothy Sayers. I guess it's not as much of a book as it is two essays bound together, and in it Sayers, in her winsome way, addresses the question, Are Women Human? The book, bearing this title, is short and a very quick read, and I would highly recommend it to you. Here are a few nuggets of wisdom from her:

We have, I think, allowed ourselves to drift into asserting that "a woman is as good as a man," without always pausing to think what exactly we mean by that. What, I feel, we ought to mean is something so obvious that it is apt to escape attention altogether, vis: not that every woman is, in virtue of her sex, as strong, clever, artistic, level-headed, industrious and so forth as any man that can be mentioned; but, that a woman is just as much an ordinary human being as a man, with the same individual preferences, and with just as much right to the tastes and preferences of an individual. What is repugnant to every human being is to be reckoned always as a member of a class and not as an individual person.

"What," men have asked distractedly from the beginning of time, "what on earth do women want?" I do not know that women, as women, want anything in particular, but as human beings they want, my good men, exactly what you want yourselves: interesting occupation, reasonable freedom for their pleasures, and a sufficient emotional outlet. What form the occupation, the pleasures and the emotion may take, depends entirely upon the individual.

We are much too much inclined in these days to divide people into permanent categories, forgetting that a category only exists for its special purpose and must be forgotten as soon as that purpose is served. There is a fundamental difference between men and women, but it is not the only fundamental difference in the world.

Most helpfully, at the end of the book she makes a great point:

Perhaps it is no wonder that the women were first at the Cradle and last at the Cross. They had never known a man like this Man--there never has been such another. A prophet and teacher who never nagged at them, never flattered or teased or patronized; who never made jokes about them, never treated them either as "The women, God help us!" or "The ladies, God bless them!"; who rebuked without querulousness and praised without condescension; who took their questions and arguments seriously; who never mapped out their sphere for them, never urged them to be feminine or jeered at them for being female; who had no axe to grind and no uneasy male dignity to defend; who took them as he found them and was completely unselfconscious. There is no act, no sermon, no parable in the whole Gospel that borrows its pungency from female perversity; nobody could possibly guess from the words and deeds of Jesus that there was anything"funny" about woman's nature.

But we might easily deduce it from His contemporaries, and from His prophets before Him, and from His Church to this day. Women are not human; nobody shall persuade that they are human; let them say what they like, we will not believe it, though One rose from the dead.

There are many more great insights in this short work. Speaking in a time when women were fighting for basic rights it is amazing to see her tempered feminism. I think she has something to teach, not just in her words, but in her winsome presentation of the fundamental aspects of what makes us all, both men and women, first and foremost, human.

women's ministry in the 21st century

I have a confession to make: when I hear the phrase, "women's ministry," I cringe. Immediately, images of doilies, cutesy teas, knitting, and flowery fonts on the cover of Bible workbooks parade in front of my eyes, ghosts from the small Baptist church in which I (almost literally) grew up. Many of the women I know have similar reactions. We suspect that "women's ministry" has nothing to offer those of us who, for example:

• don't have kids
• have kids AND a career
  
• dread arts and crafts
  
• don't believe that "submission" should be one-sided
  
• don't especially appreciate Beth Moore (or Elizabeth Eliot)
  
• are less emotional than the [stereo]typical woman
• didn't kiss dating goodbye
  

Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for women who DO benefit from traditional women's ministry, and I realize that good, relevant women's ministries do exist - but I also know that stereotypes exist for a reason. I suspect that many women's ministries, particularly in smaller churches like mine, are not equipped to minister to those of us who don't fit the "church woman" mold, much less reach the majority of non-Christian women in our culture...

So what does "women's ministry" look like in the 21st century? How can churches meet the needs of ALL women, regardless of their vocation and place in life? I've been wrestling with questions like these lately as I have been taking stock of the overall needs and strengths of my congregation, in which there is no formal "women's ministry" in place.

After church this past Sunday, a man from the congregation mentioned that he and his wife were glad I am now full-time at the church, since they had just recently been discussing the need for more "women's ministry" at Redeemer. I bristled at this, of course, because that's probably one of the biggest pet peeves of most female seminary grads: being put into the "women's ministry" box when that's neither your passion nor specifically your calling. However, as I have had further conversations with the women at my church, I am beginning to see the need for and the value of "women's ministry," but women's ministry of a particular sort. Some heuristic thoughts:

• Young moms truly do need connections with other women in the congregation, and this takes some special intentionality. This doesn't necessarily mean that young moms should only get together with other moms, but for a single gal like me, it's good to remember that childcare is a must if these women are going to be able to come to church events.
• Women need encouragement to develop their giftings and talents, and to then use those giftings and talents in the church body.
• Younger women need the wisdom and encouragement of older women.
• Single women and married women need each other's perspectives on life.
• Even if a woman is well-educated and has a career, she still needs connections with other women in the congregation. She might also need opportunities to engage faith more intellectually, or on the flip-side to have a space in which she can allow her faith to engage and release her emotions.

In other words, women need discipleship. At the same time, it is only men and women together that bear the image of God -- what implications does that have for spiritual formation and discipleship? But that's a topic for another day...

So what shape SHOULD women's ministry take in the church today? I suppose asking questions is the first step toward finding answers...

~~~~~~~~

Case in point: After publishing this post, I visited a blog associated with the "True Woman" movement (hand-in-hand with the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood), and the most recent posts include, "You can't go wrong with Chester's Chocolate Mint Brownies," "Studying Housework," "He Never Helps Out," and my personal favorite, "Warm Fuzzies."

Ever wondered why the "women in ministry" issue is such a big deal for so many Christians?

Well I sure have. The Issue seems to pop out out of nowhere sometimes, but it always rises up with vehemence and strong opinion. I'm the first to admit that it's a hot button issue for me -- it strikes too close to home for my responses to be anything less than passionate when The Issue comes up -- and I have to be really careful that to season my passion carefully with love, compassion, and respect for those who disagree with me.

How did the interrelated Issues of women in ministry, the ordination of women, and male headship become such a big deal for the American church? While I'm sure that some might reply, "because defending biblical truth [in my experience, this usually means a complementarian perspective of some sort] is of the utmost importance!", I just don't think it's quite that simple. Why THIS battle with this amount of energy?

Scot McKnight has some thought-provoking thoughts on this subject. Rather than me summarizing his excellent blog post, read the whole thing here. And if you have the time, click on the category "Women in Ministry" and check out some of his other postings on The Issue. You won't be sorry you did.

Side note: Scot McKnight's blog, Jesus Creed, is well worth exploring for its intriguing discussions and interesting posts, even if you couldn't care less about The Issue mentioned in this post.

A Vocation I Did Not Choose

I never planned on becoming a minister. In fact, if you had told me when I entered seminary that I would be employed full time at a church when I graduated, I would have laughed in your face. Four years ago, when I entered seminary (which, at the time, I would only refer to as "graduate school"), I was on the fast track to earn my M.A., do the whole PhD thing, then teach theology in a university somewhere. Academic teaching was "safe" for a Christian woman, and I felt that since few enough women are teaching theology, in becoming a professor I would still be a bit "on the edge," expanding the boundaries for future generations of women and men, bringing an underrepresented voice to theological discourse.

I had never had a female professor for a theology or biblical studies class. I had certainly never attended a church where a woman was any sort of pastor... other than a children's pastor, of course (another "safe" vocation for a Christian woman). I had never in my wildest dreams wanted or even imagined entering into ministry myself - it had simply never been presented as an option for me.

My second year in seminary, I was sitting in one of my classes, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I sensed this... voice? Call? Leading from the Holy Spirit? I don't even know what to call it. All I know is that from out of the blue, I had a sense that God was calling me into some sort of pastoral ministry. I did NOT want to be a pastor of any size, shape, or variety. I told God flat out that if he wanted me to enter that type of ministry, he would have to make me want it.

Well, he did. It took a lot of time, a lot of personal growth, and more pain than I like to think about. But gradually, yet suddenly, I find that I am a minister. I am a pastor. I long to help other people become wholehearted, whole-bodied disciples of the Lord. I love to walk alongside people when they are struggling, to help them bear their burdens, to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. I hear the Lord reminding me, "Feed my sheep... and do not forget about those sheep who are wandering outside of my fold."

I didn't choose this life -- but I love it. I was built for this vocation, and God knew that, even when I didn't. As I enter into ministry, I sense His pleasure... and that is where my confidence lies.

Like many women, I still don't quite understand how I ended up in ministry... but I'm grateful.

tokens

Token: a. a member of a group (as a minority) that is included within a larger group b. serving or intended to show absence of discrimination (Webster)

We've all seen tokens. The one odd person out in a group is probably there because they were invited to be the token for whatever group they would normally belong to. We don't want to discriminate, so we let people who are different into our group and whatever they say we assume is the opinion of everyone in the group they represent. I was introduced to this concept during my seminary life when I would be the only woman in a class. All of a sudden whatever I said was considered to be what every woman would say. I was the token woman. The problem with this concept is that I rarely speak for anyone but myself. My opinions should probably have one of those conditional statements below them at all times: "Thoughts expressed are solely that of the speaker. We are not responsible for the content of this opinion."

But having spent a little time as a pastor now, I'm beginning to think that perhaps its not such a bad thing that I speak for my gender. Granted, I'm sure there are many women who would disagree with some things that I say because we are all different and will come to different conclusions on all kinds of things. But at the same time I realize that they are not in my place. I am the only woman on my fellow team. I am the only woman writing small group questions for our congregation each week. I am the only woman in my worship planning meeting. If I don't speak from my perspective no one else will. So while I don't claim to speak for all women, I do try to speak as a woman, offering an individual woman's perspective in a place where it is scarce. I thought women were a minority in seminary, but it is nothing compared to being on a pastoral staff in an evangelical church.

It has been an interesting couple of weeks so far in my pastoral life. I sometimes wonder what it is that I am doing and how I got myself into this. But then I remember that the best place to be is where God leads and God has led me here. It is very interesting sometimes when I end up sitting in meetings all day and there aren't any other women. I'm not quite used to it yet. I don't always love feeling like the token woman, but I have come to accept it and I will gladly hold my token status until the day women no longer need a token to have a voice in the church.

a pastoral identity

I am a pastoral fellow. It's kind of like being a pastor, but not really. I get all the experience of being a pastor without actually having the responsibilities of a pastor. I get to learn to walk the fine line of pastoral ministry with a safety net. It is a great set-up.

However, with the perks of being a pastoral fellow comes one great downside. I am not the only fellow on my church staff. There are actually five of us all going through this two year program. And to those in the church we are simply "the fellows." All of us are grouped together in one lump sum. When they need something at the church done, it falls to the fellows as a collective unit. I, being the only woman on the fellows team, have a little bit of an advantage, but not much of one. I'm still just another one of the fellows.

And to be honest, it starts to bug you after awhile. Sometimes it's like I don't really have my own identity. I am only who I am because of the group affiliation I have. My American individualism balks against this. But as I've been thinking it over I have made the hard realization that I was never really supposed to have my own identity. I am supposed to be known as one "in Christ". My identity is not my own but is based on the group to which I belong. Or at least it should be. And while I would love to say that even when I lose my identity to my position as a fellow I am perfectly content to have my identity found purely in my relation to Christ, that would be incorrect. I, like most Americans and probably most westerners in general, do not enjoy having someone else be primary and me be secondary. I do not enjoy being lumped into a group. I want to be unique and special. I've realized I have more of a desire to have my own pastoral identity than to demonstrate my identity in Christ. I want people to look at me and see a great pastor. God wants them to look at me and see Jesus. So as much as I resist the idea that the fellowship will eat my identity, perhaps this fellowship will be better preparation for life than I even knew.

Rachel's Place

What does it mean to be a pastor? This is basically what I have been trying to discover over the past three years. Getting a Master of Divinity degree prepares us for "pastoral ministry," which begs the question, what does it mean to be a pastor?

Often times in seminary, at least my seminary, it seems to be related to the role of the pastor as preacher. Preaching ministry becomes the central focus of the gospel ministry of the church. I have been prepared in my time at seminary to be a preacher. But does that mean I am ready to be a pastor? I don't really think so. At least, not entirely.

What does it mean to be a pastor? Pastors are shepherds. There is a lot said in scripture about sheep. It is actually kind of interesting to note the uses of shepherds in major Bible stories. Shepherds saw the angels announcing the Christ child. Amos the prophet was a shepherd. And Rachel was a shepherd. She cared for her father's sheep just as any other shepherd would.

But what does it mean to be a shepherd? David gives us a picture. Even the great King David was first and foremost a shepherd. The man who was raised up by God to lead his people was trained as a shepherd. Psalm 78 tells us that he led the people with integrity of heart and skillful hands. Those were shepherds hands. As a shepherd David knew how to care for his sheep. He knew how many there were and if even one was missing and needed to be found. He knew the good pastures and the quite waters he speaks of in Psalm 23. He would have trained his sheep to hear his voice so that they would follow as he led them to good places and away from danger. He knew how to protect the sheep from the lion and the bear. It was there, among his sheep on the hills of Judea, that David gained the skillful hands that were necessary to lead the people of God.

And Jesus also is a shepherd. He is the one who ultimately cares for the flock of God. And we who serve as pastors care for the sheep who are a part of Jesus' flock. This is the commission Jesus gave to Peter after the resurrection. "Take care of my sheep," he said. So he is the good shepherd, and that makes us undershepherds, I suppose.

So what does it mean to be a pastor?

To be a pastor means to steer the sheep in the direction of safety. Jesus said he is the gate to the sheepfold and only those who enter through him can come in to the safety of the fold. That is what a pastor wants for people. For all people. This is our theology of evangelism.

To be a pastor means to teach the voice of the good shepherd to his sheep. Jesus said his sheep know his voice. He desires to lead us to good pastures and protect us from dangers. So he made his voice known in his Word. As pastors we are to help others to recognize the voice of the Shepherd through his Word. This is our theology of preaching.

To be a pastor means to care for the injured of the flock. It is not by accident that the Good Shepherd has a sheep on his shoulders in all those pictures. The hurting sheep who needs special care, who cannot walk along with the rest of the flock for a time because of an injury or illness will not be left behind by the good shepherd. Instead, knowing that at times we all must be carried in order to experience rest and healing the good shepherd bears us upon his shoulders. The pastor carries those who are in need and raises the sheep up to be born on the strong shoulders of their ultimate shepherd. This is our theology of pastoral care.

To be a pastor means to guide the sheep as a flock, teaching them to mind their feet that they don't trample the grass or muddy the waters of others (Ezekiel 34). As a single flock the shepherd helps the sheep learn how to live as part of a family or a body if you will. This is our theology of spiritual formation.

Our role as pastors, as shepherds, is to reflect the model of the good shepherd. Like the shepherds who heard from the angels, we have been given the message that the Messiah has come. Like Amos we have a message from God to share with his people. Like David we are to work with integrity of heart and skillful hands. Like Peter we are to feed the sheep. And like Rachel we are women given the responsibility of caring for our Father's sheep. This blog is contributed to by all those serving as Rachel did. We are women. We are pastors. We are shepherds of our Father's flock. And this is our place to belong as we learn what it means to be a pastor.